when I look into this face, I am pretty often flooded with memories of her almost 4 years.  I especially reminisce on that absolutely perfect October day that she made me a momma and the exact second that I saw that God had gifted me a daughter.  'My best friend for life' (besides my husband) was the immediate thought in my mind as I choked on my words "my baby girl" and repeated them over and over.  I don't know that I've ever had a time-stood-still moment other than that moment.  all y'alls with momma hearts know the ache that I feel as I raise her and watch any trace that is left of her babyness wane.  that article that floats around on "the last time" of doing something has me batty.  because I know some of those lasts are probably happening without me realizing.  but then it's onto something new and something else that I won't want to forget.  I don't want to forget the details of the summer she is 3.  the summer she is a big sister to an infant brother.  the summer she is testing out the waters of some new found independence and is learning the limits.  it's the only one of it's kind.  

I want to remember ...

how she calls me "sweetie" and "hun"

how she says "laked" instead of naked

how she says "mommy, pretend that you're my mommy. ok, mom?" when we play pretend

how she cries about growing up, and says she will still give me kisses when she's a mommy

how she earnestly prays for a baby sister.  not just for her, but because R needs one too, she says

how she's been trying to use words like ridiculous, absolutely, incredible and totally but most often they are out of context, and it's crazy adorable

how she likes to stand next to me to see where the top of her head hits and talks about where it will be when she's 5.  the summer of age 3, she's at my belly button.  

how she asks me to tell her about when she lived in my belly

the sound of her voice when she talks to baby brother and the things she says to him: "don't think about it" (not sure what this one means and neither does she), "do you just want momma, Ro?", "did you sleep good, bud?", "he's just listening to my words, mom.  he's learning them."

how suddenly, her brother is roaring full speed ahead towards toddlerhood and with that comes a little playmate for her.  today, I told them to play in the play room while I made supper and they were a couple of giggle monsters up there!  music to my ears.  she's also taken it upon herself to go through the room first for choking hazards before letting him in :)  

and speaking of the handsome hunk, we thought we'd celebrate a low of 65 tonight with raccoon jammies.